Ok. I am asking you to just pretend you know nothing about the Love of God, the Love of Christ…
This morning I was out and about getting errands done, and had this crazy image in my head of the bridge I was driving on blowing up (too many movies I know) I began to think about what those last moments would be like for me, my son, Jeremiah and my unborn daughter, Autumn. The mere thought brought me to gut-wrenching sobs (not so safe for driving I know…). I was completely overwhelmed to even think of pain inflicted on my son. I love him dearly, and cannot comprehend it.
Every time I have such thoughts enter my mind, I find myself with this heart-cry "can God really be good even if this happened?" I find myself feeling angry (again this is all just in my head, nobody has died) and in such pain that I can't believe God would allow it to happen, because for some, it does happen, it has happened, and it will… I will one day lose someone dear to me, unexpectedly.
As these thoughts flooded my heart a bigger and even more gut-wrenching thought entered. I was literally washed over with this deeper understanding of the Father's Love. I'm imperfect and unable to love perfectly… and yet the thought of losing my son is so intense I can barely handle it. But God's love is perfect. He is wholly loving towards each one of us, unashamedly giving EVERYTHING. I'd like to think I would give everything for my son, daughter and husband to save their life if I could… I hope I would do so for other family members and good friends… But His absolute, perfect, never-failing love, would do that for me, would do that for you, and would do that for those whom would betray him.
After this I was reading in Mark where Jesus appointed the 12 and it says "Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted," (Mk 3:13). Those he wanted. It then lists the disciples all the way up to Judas Iscariot "who betrayed him". But you know what, Jesus wanted him. God loved Judas and chose Judas, all the while knowing he would betray him. Can you imagine that kind of love? When have you loved someone, knowing they would betray you?
No other love is so deep as the Father's; not even my gut-wrenching sobs over the mere thoughts of losing my son. I cannot even fathom the heart-break of the Father over the death of Christ.
His love is so good, pure, and beautiful… it draws us closer if we would simply look into His loving gaze and allow ourselves to feel His embrace.
It's almost impossible to talk about His love and give it justice. Know that today you are gut-wrenching, sobbing, wholly loved by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It brings Him pain to see and to think of your pain. But it also brings Him joy to simply love you, and to know you.
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