The Downfall of Comparison

I am convinced that act of comparison is one of our worst enemies. The more we compare, the less satisfied we are with our current state. If I compare myself to another, most often I am looking at someone who is or has what I wish I did and suddenly I feel inadequate. If I compare my husband or my son to another's, often I find that I expect more of them than I would have previously. My heart becomes steeped in envy and ungrateful for the many gifts and blessings that I currently have.

Also, more often than not, I'm comparing what I have with a filtered version of what someone else has. How many of us turn our mugs, layer the books, or set the stage just right, before snapping a pic to post on instagram?

Example: I recently read a home-birth story and saw the pictures that were taken for them and began to feel like my home wasn't going to be cozy or comfy enough for a home-birth. It's smaller than some other homes and it probably won't look quite as glamourous as it did for this family…

But in all reality, they hired a photographer who's primary job is to make it all look beautiful, and cozy. Their job is to avoid the mess and to make everything look just right. The beauty in it all is much more than having everything perfect, but in the little beauty that arrives.

I don't have to have what someone else has in order to know that I am loved and blessed. I didn't marry someone else's husband, therefore I should never compare my husband to a man I'm definitely not interested in committing to live life beside. I didn't bear and birth another woman's child, I didn't buy that family's home… I've received these gifts for me and my family, and they are beautiful.

All in all, it simply doesn't make sense to compare… so just stop it ;)

How Deep The Father's Love...

Ok. I am asking you to just pretend you know nothing about the Love of God, the Love of Christ…

This morning I was out and about getting errands done, and had this crazy image in my head of the bridge I was driving on blowing up (too many movies I know) I began to think about what those last moments would be like for me, my son, Jeremiah and my unborn daughter, Autumn. The mere thought brought me to gut-wrenching sobs (not so safe for driving I know…). I was completely overwhelmed to even think of pain inflicted on my son. I love him dearly, and cannot comprehend it.

Every time I have such thoughts enter my mind, I find myself with this heart-cry "can God really be good even if this happened?" I find myself feeling angry (again this is all just in my head, nobody has died) and in such pain that I can't believe God would allow it to happen, because for some, it does happen, it has happened, and it will… I will one day lose someone dear to me, unexpectedly.

As these thoughts flooded my heart a bigger and even more gut-wrenching thought entered. I was literally washed over with this deeper understanding of the Father's Love. I'm imperfect and unable to love perfectly… and yet the thought of losing my son is so intense I can barely handle it. But God's love is perfect. He is wholly loving towards each one of us, unashamedly giving EVERYTHING. I'd like to think I would give everything for my son, daughter and husband to save their life if I could… I hope I would do so for other family members and good friends… But His absolute, perfect, never-failing love, would do that for me, would do that for you, and would do that for those whom would betray him.

After this I was reading in Mark where Jesus appointed the 12 and it says "Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted," (Mk 3:13). Those he wanted. It then lists the disciples all the way up to Judas Iscariot "who betrayed him". But you know what, Jesus wanted him. God loved Judas and chose Judas, all the while knowing he would betray him. Can you imagine that kind of love? When have you loved someone, knowing they would betray you?

No other love is so deep as the Father's; not even my gut-wrenching sobs over the mere thoughts of losing my son. I cannot even fathom the heart-break of the Father over the death of Christ.

His love is so good, pure, and beautiful… it draws us closer if we would simply look into His loving gaze and allow ourselves to feel His embrace.

It's almost impossible to talk about His love and give it justice. Know that today you are gut-wrenching, sobbing, wholly loved by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It brings Him pain to see and to think of your pain. But it also brings Him joy to simply love you, and to know you.