Life with two...

So a lot of people ask me how life with two is, now that Autumn has arrived. It's definitely a valid question, and my answer has been: "honestly, easier than I expected!" I went into this adventure thinking it was going to be the roughest thing I'd ever done, and in this case, it set me up for a pleasant surprise. I found out that I actually can handle it, well… with tons of prayer, guidance and support.

However, the question I've not been asked is.. how is life with a toddler? Cause let me tell ya… I wasn't anticipating that even on days that Autumn sleeps well and hardly bats an eye at the fact that I've not been holding her 24/7, I would still have this joyful, energetic, curious, toddler who is finding out he has a will and seems to want to do nothing more than exactly what I've asked him to stop doing.

I'm exhausted. I thought that if I could simply teach him well, utilize discipline in a loving manner, he would be obedient. I thought that if I could just do everything right, I would still have my sanity intact. Kids are a reflection of their parents right? Well… yes and no. I know that there are definitely some things I have done wrong, and some ways I need to grow in truly loving and teaching him… but I also know that this kid has his own mind and heart. Just like I rebel against my perfectly loving Father, my son is surely going to rebel against his imperfectly trying-to-be-loving mother.

Like anybody else, I have good days and bad days… and in every single day there are good and bad moments. There are a couple thoughts I've had today that help me keep going and know that it's alright:

First, this grace offered by Ann Voskamp: "The art of really celebrating life isn't about getting it right - but about receiving Grace… Regardless of the mess of your life, if Christ is Lord of your life, then we are the celebrants out dancing in a wild rain of grace-- because when it's all done and finished, all is well and Christ already said it was finished."  I'm not responsible for getting it all right, but for living in God's abundant grace for all of my failures and mistakes, especially in parenting.

Second, Jeremiah is learning and he is full of love,  joy and excitement. When I take a moment to stop looking at all the things he's doing wrong, and instead see how much he is growing and learning, I can respond to those things differently. Discipline is about teaching, not punishment. At times there are consequences for repeated disobedience, however my ultimate goal is to embrace his dynamic personality and encourage him to explore in ways that are good.

Third, sometimes I feel like an awful, horrible mother, but even in those times I mess up, he hugs me and kisses me, he seeks my approval and attention, he desires my company… I can tell he loves me still. So we will continue to imperfectly learn the perfect love of the Father together.